Splinter Cell
by KnoKnameKnown
Summary: Some of HYDRA's many heads survived and are back to nefarious deeds. Even SHIELD might not be enough to foil their latest scheme...


**The disclaimer: I own nothing except the bouncer. He's mine. Oh and some of the background characters, but they have no names so it makes no difference really. Anything else is property/license of the original creators, so no money for me!**

**The not-actually-a-disclaimer: This follows on from the events of Enter X-Factor although it stands on its own too- references to past events are generally referring to that story. There's not a whole lot of X-Men in this one but it is all part of the Evolution-verse so stick with it and I hope you will enjoy.**

**Chapter One: Liasion**

_An apartment, Bayville- Evening_

Valerie Cooper, Agent of SHIELD, was not impressed. She had suffered an extremely testing year and it seemed fate was not done toying with her yet. She had been 'given' the job of liaising with SHIELD's unofficial partners- employees, more accurately, and not very willing ones at that. She suspected her appointment had been the result of her previous mission to investigate the mysterious leak of SHIELD information to the mutant terrorist Mystique. For all its lofty status and heroic intentions, SHIELD was extremely keen to keep certain secrets... secret. Discovering that a high-ranking official had been 'cooperating' with Mystique in several sordid ways was not the kind of news they wanted told. She had therefore been shunted into the undesirable dead-end job of babysitting a bunch of malcontent mutant detectives of limited use... or such had been the plan.

It transpired Mystique had been equally displeased her little source of information had been discovered and neutralised, but being in no position to demote Val to grunt work had instead showed her displeasure more physically- beating Val into a near-comatose state and taking her job while Val herself was left to the tender mercies of Martin Li, a mutant gangster. Thanks in part to the shape-shifter's devious machinations, X-Factor had been captured too, and although they had broken free the experience had lead to the team taking an unofficial break as they each tried to recover. Val had been left without any productive work to undertake and a distinct black mark on her file; SHIELD higher-ups were not inclined to reward her capture and humiliating imprisonment.

She sat in what passed for her office these days- a sort of bedroom-stroke-study in a low-rent apartment of some kind- and looked over her notes on the mutants she was supposed to be working with. She knew the information by heart but had to do something, anything really. She looked at the first file: Monet St Croix, a dark-skinned, beautiful Algerian telepath with enhanced physical abilities; current location: working at the embassy alongside her father. Next was Julio Esteban Richter, a darkly good looking Mexican with some kind of geokinesis- currently believed to be in Nevada in search of someone or something so far unknown. Teresa Cassidy, a red-haired girl with immense acoustic powers who had returned to her native Ireland on family business. Val couldn't help raising an eyebrow as she read the next file; no matter how often she read it, she still found it to be unbelievable. James Maddox had been the leader of the group and possessed limited powers of mind control over those nearby. 'Had' being the operative term- he had come into contact with Jamie Madrox, a student at the Xavier Institute of mutants. The two appeared to be clones or 'dupes' of some kind, and on physical contact had forcibly merged. The resultant... being... was undergoing medical and mental treatment at the Institute.

That left the last remaining member of the agency and the only one who had actually remained operative in Bayville- Guido Carosella. Carosella appeared to have abundant muscle, so much so that his torso was distorted under the sheer mass, but the same could not be said of his brains. While by no means stupid, he had been the strong arm of the group rather than the brains of the operation, and as such appeared to be merely keeping the Agency running rather than actively seeking work while his team-mates were absent. Val sighed to herself and slipped the files back into the drawer. She may as well drop by the Agency and see if anything had come up; it certainly beat hanging around here. Besides, she would at least have something to show her superiors if they questioned her apparent lack of activity.

She made her way through the streets of Bayville. She realised as she went her surroundings grew steadily shabbier and unsavoury; as known mutants, X-Factor Investigations Agency had not been welcome in the better areas of the city. A couple of hoods wolf-whistled as she walked past one alleyway; with her in her sharp suit and her blonde hair in a tight bun she looked distinctly out of place and was beginning to recover her physique after her lengthy imprisonment. She glared at the pair and they fell silent under the cold green eyes- on some level they sensed she was not someone to mess with. She rolled her eyes as she walked on; if this kept up she would ask for a transfer, pride be damned. She reached the headquarters itself and walked up to the door. To her surprise it rattled but didn't open, and as she peered through the window she realised all the lights were off and there was no sign of life from within. Fortunately, she had a key of her own and the security codes for the electronic lock; the X-Factor agents were not aware of this and she intended to keep it that way if possible. She managed to get the door open and strode inside, but found her initial impression had been accurate- to all intents and purposes, the building were completely empty.

"Carosella? It's Agent Cooper!" She called. She was not really expecting an answer and the ensuing silence came as no surprise. "I'm just going to invade your privacy and violate your precious sense of independence, okay?" She had no intention of doing that but had learned that it was a touchy subject with the mutants and may draw Carosella out if he was trying to ignore her. Again there was silence. She made her way over to the desk and picked up the phone, putting it to her ear- a dead line, not even a flat line, just complete silence. The intercom that would contact the rest of the building was next to the phone. She pressed a few buttons but they merely clicked dully.

"Typical," she muttered and made her way up the stairs to where she knew the office of the Agency lay. It was Maddox's name on the plaque on the door but she knew that it was a mere formality and that any of the others would use it too. She tested the handle and to her surprise the door opened easily. Carosella must really be letting himself- and the building- go. There was a pile of paperwork on the desk but very little else. She noticed one piece of paper aside from the rest, looking newer and fresher than the rest. She made her way around the desk to read it.

_Agent Cooper,_

_If you're reading this then it just proves why we didn't trust you and you can be sure I'm going to change the damn lock. If you're here on some kind of personal business then you can go shove it somewhere personal. If you're here on some kind of mission, then you can shove that somewhere personal too, but harder._

_Won't be seeing you if I can help it._

_G.C._

_P.S. - I was not kidding about the lock._

_P.P.S. - Or the shoving._

"That sounds about right," Val sighed. She knew the mutant investigators did not particularly trust her, and on some levels she could understand their suspicion, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy it. At least Carosella was being characteristically blunt about it. Of course, that didn't help very much- she still had no idea where he had gone. She supposed she should try and find out- at least one of them was going to be responsible and adult about this. She started looking for some kind of clue as to where he may have gone, smiling to herself at the irony of searching a detective's office for clues. Probably a real investigator would have done a better job of it- maybe even Carosella with his experience... she gave herself a mental slap. She was meant to be being professional; it would not do to start bitching about her new allies, even if no-one would know. She eventually struck lucky when she discovered an empty glass bottle in the bin- whiskey, cheap whiskey in fact. So, he had been drinking... had he perhaps gone to buy more? She gave the desk a thorough examination, but aside from lots of paperwork and bills she couldn't find very much to go on. She noticed that the phone on the desk did appear to be working although the little flashing LED suggested it hadn't been answered for a while. She shrugged and pressed the button to play back any messages.

"Guido? It's Dev, Dev Graystone. I'm guessing you're out again already... just to say I can't make our little meet-up today, so have a drink for me, okay? You can make it up to me next time."

There were several more messages, but they all seemed to be variations on the same theme. A meet-up for a drink? He had to be at some kind of bar then, that's probably where he was right now. That was a good start, now she just had to work out which one- and that could take a while. Presumably one nearby, although she was not entirely familiar with the area. It would have to be one tolerant of mutants, and if it was a regular thing like Graystone seemed to be suggesting then it was probably quite close. There could only be so many fitting those criteria, so she may as well just check them all until she found out the right one- this had all started with her desire to get out anyway, so she could hardly complain.

It took her longer than she had expected to finally track Carosella down. She would have thought a seven-foot tall, four foot wide man with a topknot would be pretty easy to remember, but the few people who even deigned to reply just shrugged and muttered denials. Something about the flatness of their expressions suggested they must have thought her to be some sort of police officer and were being deliberately uncooperative, but she didn't let that get her down. Eventually she came across a bar that seemed bigger and more prosperous than most she had seen so far, but this seemed to be in direct contrast to how out of the way it was. She realised the two factors were not unrelated; it was somewhere relatively 'safe' and unlikely to be stumbled across by normal humans, making it a mutant hotspot. There was a man leaning against the doorway with a cigarette in his mouth, clearly acting as security.

"Hold up, lady," he said as she tried to walk in. "This is a pretty exclusive joint, it's not just anyone who can get in if you follow my drift..."

She looked over at him and saw his eyes were merely grey orbs without irises or pupils and quickly realised that the bouncer himself was a mutant. Not that that bothered her particularly, she was more than confident in her ability to handle some hired muscle, mutant or otherwise, although she hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"I'm an exclusive person," she replied. "I don't go just anywhere."

"Cute," the mutant said. "But you're a flat-scan. Mutants only- and I can tell, so don't try bluffing me." He pointed at his eyes and Val realised that at least in part his own mutant powers involved recognising them in others. Well, if she couldn't bluff her way in she'd have to be more direct. She pulled out her SHIELD identification, which looked close enough to regular police issue to fool any bouncer.

"Alright, alright," the mutant muttered. "Just don't- don't go throwing your weight around, y'hear?" He said, but his tone made it clear he was fully aware of his lack of authority in the situation.

"I don't want trouble any more than you do," Val assured him. "I'm just looking for one person- not for interrogation or anything like that-" she added hurriedly as she noticed the look of panic on his face. "He's a... colleague. His name's Carosella, Guido Carosella."

"Oh, the strong guy," the bouncer said. "Yeah he's in there. Regular customer he is."

"Thanks for your help," Val said politely. She stepped inside and looked around. Sure enough, the clientele appeared to be entirely mutant, most of them with physical signs of their condition. In one corner she could see a young man who appeared to be wearing armour made out of bone plates talking to a tall woman with an eye-patch and long dark hair. To the left of them was the immediately recognisable figure of Carosella, apparently chatting to a blonde girl whose appearance seemed to be shimmering slightly. Val walked over towards them, and although her formal dress appeared extremely odd in the surroundings, most people ignored her, seeming satisfied by the fact she had got past the doorman. As she got closer to Carosella she could make out some of what he was saying.

"Yeah, and so this guy is like five foot tall but he's smacking around Monet, I mean M, I've told you about M right? She's the invincible flying girl- yeah well, so he's beating on her which no way should he be able to do and... Am I boring you? I'm boring you aren't I? Please tell if I'm boring you, I don't want to bore you..."

"No," the girl said. She sounded genuinely impressed by his stories until Val stepped in to interrupt the tale, which she recognised as the break-out from Negative's base. Both of them looked slightly put out when the SHIELD agent broke into the conversation.

"Sorry to interrupt," Val said, not even trying to sound like she meant it. "But I've been looking for you Carosella."

"Who're you?" the girl demanded.

"Valerie Cooper, SHIELD," Val flashed her badge in the girl's face.

"Y'see? SHIELD! I run with SHIELD now, ain't that cool?" Guido said. "I mean... Sally? Sal? Where're you going... Aww nuts." Sally had out down her drink and stood up. Clearly she did not appreciate Val's appearance on the scene, and it did not seem Guido appreciated it either as he glared at Val as she took the now vacant seat. "What'd you do that for? I had a proper conversation going there! And with a girl! Do you know how long it's been since that happened?" He realised how pathetic that sounded and quickly tried to bluster his way through. "At least five minutes, tops, the ladies dig a proper man's man like me, but you're just cramping my style here."

"Style, right," Val said. "You've got plenty of that to cramp."

"What'd you want?" Guido said grumpily. "And your next words had better be 'to buy you a drink.'"

"To find out where the hell you'd gone," Val said. "We're meant to be working together, how can I keep track of you when you just up and leave whenever it suits you?"

"By using the key you think I don't know about to get in whenever you want," Guido said.

"You knew about that?"

"I do now," Guido said smugly. Val scowled; she had walked right into that one. Guido had clearly had his suspicions but she had been amateurish to confirm it like that. Guido must have noticed her displeasure. "I'm really not as stupid as you think," he said.

"I didn't think you're stupid," Val said quickly. "Why do you think SHIELD wanted you specifically? There were other places we could have gone."

"You didn't want me, you wanted Cortex Investigations," Guido countered. "I just came with the package. Always useful to have some grunt to push around, right? Why risk your pretty little neck when you can send good old Guido to be punched instead?"

There did not seem to be an awful lot to say to that, or at least very little that she could be sure he would not twist until he found something suitably bitter to shoot back at her. On some level of course, he was absolutely right. SHIELD agents were highly trained and skilled operatives and combatants, but none could lift over seventy tons or be hit by a lorry without flinching. She looked around for a distraction, wishing she had not made the foolish decision to try and find him now. She noticed just how many empty glasses were scattered on the table, there had to be nearly a dozen. She was not the only one who noticed; a pretty barmaid with green hair came over and quickly stacked them up.

"Same again please Lorna," Guido said. "Put it on the tab."

"Sure thing, Guido," the girl said smiling.

"How much have you-?" Val began before realising how impolite that sounded. "I mean, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Hell no," Guido said, sounding as cheerful as she'd heard him all evening. "Do you want anything?"

"What? No! I'm on the job right now, I can't-"

"A house special for the lady," Guido completely ignored her. Val realised there was nothing she could say that would deter him from his intention, nor was there much point. However, that did not mean she was about to allow him to steamroller her completely.

"I'm not going to drink," she said sternly. "I'm here professionally, not socially."

"Yeah, on the job," Guido agreed. "The job being, liaise with X-Factor, and X-Factor currently consisting of me, here. So come on, get liaising." The drinks were produced promptly and Guido quickly made a start on his. Val took a sip for politeness' sake then put it down.

"Look, I know you don't want me to be here," she said eventually. "I know you don't even like me-"

"Why don't you give up the day job and become a PI yourself?" Guido muttered.

"-but is it too much to ask for you to at least be professional about all this? I'm not really over keen on working with you either but that's not going to change, so can't you just try and act a like an adult for once in your life?"

"Wow, they didn't pick you for your amazing interpersonal skills did they?" Guido said. Val sighed and took a much larger gulp of her drink. This had not gone exactly as she had planned; not that she actually had had a plan in the first place but she hadn't even contemplated her evening ending with exchanging barbs over a drink with one of her supposed new colleagues.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That was way out of line of me. I'm just getting a bit... frustrated, you know? I mean, what with what happened with Li- and then I get out with a huge blot on the records and even the people I'm supposed to be working with just leave without a word..."

"Hey, I'm still here aren't I?" Guido protested.

"Yeah, but 'here' is a bar, drinking," Val pointed out. "Not exactly for the first time either, is it?"

"Tell me about it," Guido agreed. "But when James... well, when whatever happened to him happened to him, and the others just go wherever the hell they've gone, what's a big lug like me going to do? I'm kinda persona non grata out in the wild yonder."

"I know that feeling," Val said, draining her drink. Guido looked at her sceptically, obviously finding it hard to believe that a normal-looking human like her could know what it was like to be ostracised just for existing. "Really, I do. I mean, working for SHIELD isn't exactly a high society kind of job, and now not only am I a glorified policewoman, I'm a failed one. I can't even do it right without being captured and imprisoned like some rookie. I only got stuck with you because they wanted me out of the way... uh, no offence."

"None taken," Guido said. "I don't like hanging around with me, and I _am _me."

His tone was light and jocular but Val couldn't help looking at him more intently. He had always struck her as the classic boisterous type, clowning around and cracking jokes at his own expense as much as anyone else's. Of course, that's exactly what he wanted everyone to see... He just laughed at her expression.

"I'm kidding you," he said. "What's not to love? And I've got plenty of love to go around..."

"As I'm sure Sally would attest," Val teased him. They suddenly found themselves wearing matching expressions- of extreme shock. Then even more surprisingly they both laughed at the sudden awkward tension, before stopping at almost the same instant as they realised.

"Well, that was weird," Guido commented eventually. "Did you just tell a _joke_?"

"Don't worry, it won't happen again," Val assured him. "Just a temporary slip-up, that's all."

"And I thought _you_ were worried about _me _drinking," Guido said with an expression of mock concern. Val laughed- no, she giggled, much to her shame she actually _giggled _- and was about to take another slip of her drink when she realised it was empty already. Guido grinned at her expression and drained his own drink.

"Okay young lady you have had too much," he said warningly, still smirking.

"Young lady? What does that make you kiddo?" she replied. It took a few seconds for her to realise how badly that had backfired on her. Damn it, what was going on? She was normally much sharper than this! She tried again. "Besides, you've been here much longer than me."

"And it hasn't even touched the edges," Guido said proudly, thumping his thick torso proudly. "I'm only just warming up- there's plenty more drinking to be done..."

"Mr Carosella, are you trying to get me drunk?" Val demanded. She noticed that the drinks had been replaced already without her even noticing. Clearly Guido's custom was much valued around here judging by the quality of service he received. She had only been half-joking but the small portion of her brain the alcohol still hadn't even touched was horrified at even that minor slip-up. What the hell was in that 'house special'? More to the point what had happened to being professional? Of course, in fairness she had not had a real drink for a very long time; her resistance was lower than it might be- so it only made sense to build it back up again, right? Right? Oh what the hell, it wasn't as if the job required her to actually do anything, she may as well enjoy herself.

"Sorry, _Ms Cooper_, you're just not my type," Guido said sadly. "You've got class and style and... stuff, I'm strictly lower leagues, don't want to go wasting my time."

Val maybe worse for drink- already! She was going to pay for this!- but you didn't get into SHIELD without a sharp mind and quick thinking. Even in her own condition she had begun to notice that Guido was not quite as sober as he was pretending to be- he was just doing a very good job of hiding it. That suited her just fine- now she could just say she was meeting up on a social basis to get to know her team-mates better. Besides, even if he was drunk he had still complimented her and she found that rather gratifying.

"You think I've got class?" she asked. Guido had drained his next drink and it seemed to have been the extra card to bring the whole house down as his eyes were distinctly blurred.

"Yeah, and style, and... stuff," he repeated. "I already said that bit didn't I? And legs too, nice legs, very nice legs." He paused briefly and an expression of consternation crossed his face. "Aw crud, did I say that out loud? I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, it's nice to be complimented," Val assured him.

"You know what? You know what, I reckon I may have had just a little too much to drink," Guido said suddenly. "Just a little too much, of course, not a lot too much, that would just be stupid, cause then I'd go around trying it on with all the ladies and look really stupid... stupider than normal... stupider...er. So I'm glad I'm not doing that."

"No, you don't want to go doing that," Val agreed. "Because then you'd feel really stupidererer when you remember the next day when you next see them."

"Yeah, it was like this time after we went after these smugglers, nasty ones they were, and me and James and Julio- have you met them? They're great guys, I'll have to introduce you some time- went to try and sow our morrows, I mean drown our sorrows and then when I came back I tried hitting on M, you know, Monet... now she is one hot babe, know what I mean? But 'cause I was drunk I tried hitting on her, and then she hit me back. Not hit on me, just hit me. POW! I don't really remember much after that."

"You've got a way with the ladies, then?" Val asked jokingly.

"Oh yeah, just it's a _real _bad way," Guido said.

"Oh don't feel bad," Val said comfortingly. "Come on, have a drink on me this time, you'll feel much better."

"No, no, no, I don't wanna drunk, I might get drink!" Guido said hurriedly. "And then I'll end up trying to flirt with you and that would be really bad."

"I suppose it would," Val agreed. "It could get a little bit embarrassing."

"Like that time me and Julios and Jame, oh you know who I mean, went to the bar this time I ended up trying it on with Monet... And then she punched me. I don't like talking about it, it's really embarrassing."

"Well you won't be trying that again anytime soon," Val said reassuringly.

"Yup, I know my place, won't go talking to babes like M or you or whatever..." he realised what he had said. "Not that I don't think you're really pretty I'm just talking to you not _talking_-talking."

The barmaid came back over again with more drinks. Val gave the girl her best intimidating stare, but it lost some of its impact when aimed seven inches to the left of her head.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said. "He's already worse for wear- I don't even know how much money he's got left..."

"This one's on the house," the girl assured her. "All the time he's trying to chat you up he's not starting another fight."

"He's not chatting me up, we're just... colleagues, off duty," Val said. The barmaid just shrugged.

"Must be in a weird mood tonight then," she said casually. "Normally he's trying it on with some 'lucky' lady by now... never gets him anywhere."

"Really," Val said flatly. "I'd better get him out of here then." She downed her drink in one go and managed to get Guido upright. "Come on, Carosella, let's get you home before you cause any trouble... again."

"Good luck with that," the barmaid smirked. Guido appeared to register that and drew himself up proudly. He walked across the room without even wobbling, much to Val's surprise and even respect. It took a very strong constitution to even remain upright after the quantity of alcohol he had consumed, much less walk. Val followed him and managed to guide him through the door. The cold air hit her and she realised it was now much later than she had thought. She heard a meaty thwack and saw the mutant bouncer staggering away; it seemed Guido had slapped him on the back in what he thought to be a cheerful, comradely fashion. Val smiled apologetically at the man.

"Sorry," she said. Guido was by now lumbering down the street and she had to hurry to match his long-legged stride.

"Oh, hey Valerie," he said. "You're still here? I thought you had gone home already."

"My conscience would never forgive me if I didn't make sure you got back alive," Val said. "And it's Val. I think we've crossed the whole formality line thingy by now, we must have crossed the... oh would you look at that? Now I've gone and got drunk too! What kind of example are you setting here, hmm?"

"What'd you mean, too? I'm not drunk! I'm just a little inebatira... inimbreo... drunk. But only a little bit," Guido protested.

"Oh god..." Val complained. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but... you'd better come back to my place." She knew she had to be drunk to even suggest such a thing but she was still sober enough to see the advantages and drunk enough to ignore the negatives. There was no way she trusted him to make it back on his own and in safety. She knew he wouldn't try anything... improper. Even if he could get enough brain cells together to reach such a plan his body would swiftly sabotage the scheme. She'd have some very awkward explanations to make to her superiors if they found out but it would be even more awkward if she had to explain how she had let him get drunk and vanish. She knew her apartment was probably the safest place for him, hell it was safe for her too. For all the compliments he had paid her he was clearly going through an old routine and would have tried it on any other woman unfortunate enough to cross his path.

"Oh you saucy little Minsk! I mean minx!" Guido said, grinning vacantly. He tripped and stumbled. "Whoa... I feel kinda dizzy... I need a lie-down."

"That's the plan," Val said. "I just hope it works..."


End file.
